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One thing before we get started. All of this crap is a joke, made by myself for my own pleasure. Don't get all bent outta shape and start bitching about how mean this is or whatever. ITS JUST A FUCKING JOKE, so don't try to make more out of it than it is.-Your special friend, Joe

Velcome to my home. Wipe ur feet, take a powder, take a shit, and take a beer, Sit the fuck down and relax!! check out some of the nifty shit i get here, read a magizine, sign the g-book, and GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE!!! Come back soon!!

Random Thoughts

Why do i keep tryin to make these STUPID hompages?
How much wood....could a woodchuck chuck...if a wood chuck could chuck wood?(kinda zen ain't it?)
Thom Ottens has the harriest ass in the universe!!
2+2 is 4, 2+2 is 4, 2+2 is 4, 2+2 is 4, 2+......stop lookin at me like that!!!! I'm not crazy YOUR ALL CRAZY!!!
What exactly is casual sex? Sex without a tie?
Did i ever occur to anyone that MAYBE, to someone else in the universe, we are aliens?
I swear to god if i see that lil pepsi gurl in another commercial, i'm gonna assasinate her! One comercial is ok, maybe 2, but 4!!!!! thats evil!!!!
Judge Joe Brown Vs. Judge Judy with special ref Judge Mills Lane, Choas in the Courtroom

Fun Fact-In the 1600's, kids in sweden were givin 2 gals of beer per day instead of food.

How come God neve answered any of the important questions? Like, what the meaning of life is, how come bad things happen to good people, and what the fuck that thing in the fridge that tries to bite me is!
IF I'M SUCH A NICE FUCKIN GUY, HOW COME I GET NO LOVIN!!!!!!....did i say that out loud......oppps...
True happiness, is never havin to say ur sorry...Al Pachino has GOT to ne the greatest devil ever!!
If 2 wrongs don;t make a right, what about 3?
What exactly is the point of Cops? to show people how to commit better crimes?
Anyone remember those Bud Ice commercials, the ones where everyone is afraid of the pengiuns??WHY THE HELL ARE THEY AFRAID OF A FUCKIN PENGIUN FOR!!!!!!!!!!!
Its not just a sock, its an experience, and u better recognize
If sprite wants u to obey ur thirst, why do they have Kobe Bryant advertistin for them?

Quick Quote-"A women's dress whould be like barbed wire, servin the purposed without obstruting the view":Sophia Loren

If you want more random thoughts click IN THIS GENERAL VICINITY

Well, since I'm the owner and propritor of this here establishment, I guess I should have a little something about me. I'm 16, I got red hair (its turnin brown on me tho), green eyes, glasses, I weigh around 260 lbs, but I do alot of stuff for f-ball, so its not all flab. Heres my pic if you want to see it (be prepared to shield your eyes).

I got ICQ (#43111067), and AOL IM (user name Darien109). My email addy is darien109@hotmail.com

41 Things All Women Should Know

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
Don't cut your hair. Ever.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.
Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing >of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not sport.
Anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad's way past idiot.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your oil.
Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry,we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done- but not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Deal with it
Men want sex 24/7, its just the way we are.